I remember hearing once that everything invented after you turn 35 is "new" technology to be feared, while those things that you grew up with are second nature. Since I am just on that age cusp, I am lucky to have already adopted computers, the internet, and social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter. By the time the next technology wave hits, I will be too old to learn anything new!
What does this have to do with social anxiety disorder? I was just reading an article about how Facebook can help kids with social anxiety. This might appear counterintuitive at first, since social networking online is more impersonal than face-to-face interaction. However, the author does make some good points:
- Facebook can help your children stay in touch with old friends
- Facebook allows shy children to practice social skills
- Online social success will lead to greater confidence
I think as with all things, Facebook in moderation could certainly help shy or socially anxious children connect with others. As long as Facebook is used as a tool to meet others, rather than as a means of replacing contact in real life, then it could certainly be put to good use.
For those parents over 35 ... unfortunately you will have to go online and learn how to use these tools. Sharing the experience of Facebook with your child is one of the only ways to make sure that they stay safe.
What do you think? Is Facebook a help or a hindrance for people with social anxiety?
Photo © Microsoft
I completely agree. Some will say otherwise but I believe it is a positive tool for those suffering from Social Anxiety.
I disagree somewhat. For me, I’m very anxious when on facebook because my 350+ ‘friends’ are more like strangers. I don’t like everyone knowing who I’m speaking to and what I’ve been doing for fear of being judged. I spend an absurd amount of time trying to word wall posts and then worry about who is reading. I post pictures then take then down often. I stalk people then feel bad. I prefer small groups and because most of my facebook friendships are shallow in real life, it’s more like a any old crowded social hangout. (and so i still have the same social anxiety there, if not worse!!) I’m 21, in college and through facebook I’m connected to high school classmates scattered all over the world. I see how connected they are and feel bad for not connecting with them in the real world of highschool. Not to be entirely negative, i thinl facebook could help social anxiety is we limit facebook friends and actually communicate with people, initiate and stop being paranoid
Perhaps then some tips for using Facebook for the socially anxious are in order? Such as:
-limiting friends to a handful you know best -using private messages instead of wall posts
-no posting photos until you are more comfortable online
-try to befriend people online instead of “stalking” … if they don’t reciprocate move on
Any more tips or suggestions?
I agree with the concept of Facebook helping Social Anxiety Disorder in that I see it as a slightly less intimidating means of being social. My experience, however, also mimic’s that of Den’s description. I spend far too much time rewording and proofing wall posts and comments, and I constantly worry about what others will think when they read my posts. I have a very limited set of contacts on Facebook (about 35) but still feel this anxiety. I think that it’s a good way to slowly desensitize yourself to showing your personality in a group setting, but it’s definitely not a cure-all.
I believe it can help to a certain extent but for me with social anxiey disorder, I find it a total hindrance and have literally just deactivated mu account after getting tired of worrying about what people think of me! Its my own fault, I’m the one who writes my status’s but then I sit and look them over and think ” oh that sounds stupid or why didn’t I word it different!” Its even worse if people don’t comment after I’ve wrote a status because that justs confirms in my head that I sound stupid and that people don’t like me! I’ve had enough for now as the last few days have really been bad with stressing about how people might interpret what I’ve wrote and what impressiion I’ve gave them!
I can tell you for certain that facebook does not help social anxiety at all. What you do on facebook has a wide open public permanence to it that increases the fear of judgement / rejection even higher than in real life.
@ Kevin
I completely agree with that statement. I am writing an article to help shut down facebook..Do you have any additional sources that would help me I’d really appreciate it.
I agree with many of the others here in that Facebook does not make me any less socially anxious than in real life. I have deactivated my account too because I find it very mentally draining to spend ridiculous amounts of time wording messages and posts (sometimes even procrastinating so much that I don’t reply at all), only to then worry about whether said message will be perceived badly by others. Add to that the worry about people posting photographs of me and judging those – it’s just too much!
I disagree that facebok can be good for social anxiety but I think it’s different for everyone. For me facebook made me litereally feel like a loser and an outcast. Seeing people comment on other peoples status and photos when they wouldnt go near mine made me feel like they dont like me or that im just not cool enough. I wrote on my wall but no one ever said anything. Other people wrote on theirs and they got loads of reactions. Also people posting pictures pf parties and days out with friends made me feel as if they are having a better, happier life then me. Im glad I deleted my facebook =)
Looks like the consensus of actually socially anxious people like myself is that facebook does in fact increase social anxiety to an enormous extent in some cases. I waste so much time on facebook and feel terribly about things I write, trying to reword them, taking down photos, having no photos, and I deactivate my account all the time. Then I sign back up because I feel disconnected from everyone and want to be a part of that world again. Facebook and social anxiety seems to be a real problem, so how can it be fixed and help people like us to be more comfortable? I guess eliminating friends we don’t talk to, limiting photos, and limiting use altogether would help.
I’m going to try it, I’ll let you all know how it goes for me
Facebook does nothing but make me feel worse.
It is supposed to bring friends and family together. It does not bring anything together for me, it shows how alone and separate I am.
I am nervous posting things and I am scared to ask for friends because I am sure they think down on me. I feel like a loser because nobody responds to my comments.
Maybe it is because people are being themselves on social networking sites so have all the worries about themselves there as much as anywhere else. If they do not have the tools to manage the thoughts that occur to them when posting it will just replicate the process they are having in the real world on this site. In that way it could be good for self awareness to show people what their exact fears are, but you’d need to have ways to challenge these and go through a proper graded exposure process to use it to be helpful for SA.
Perhaps a better place to improve social comfort zones first off is somewhere that people can have a made up name and just an avatar to represent them, like a forum of some sort that they are genuinely interested in – so they have actual things to say and it is more likely they’ll meet people that have similar views or things to say about what they said? I found this helped for me and I became slowly more comfortable with having a public opinion that got responded to but also hated facebook as it makes so many minor things public as well – like if you change a detail on your profile it tells everyone about it – I found a way to make my facebook as private as possible so it did not keep announcing everything I did to the world.
Potentially I think it could be useful if used in a specific way and used deliberately as a therapeutic tool to confront specific fears and test them out like behavioural experiments. But if people use it who are very SA and they have no way of challenging what is happening it could just trigger their SA and be stressful.
Not good for me,say the wrong things!
I finally closed my Facebook account and feel so much better now.
Facebook was causing a great deal of anxiety for me. I was constantly worried what other people felt about my posts and at the same time, I was bitter that other people were having a good time and doing things I wanted to do but was too anxious to do.
Hi
As for me, facebooking hasnt been so much of a traumatic experience compared to real life occassions of meeting people…..although if i get teased about my pics, no matter how little, i feel this anxiety spark to life and begins to build. If it wants to get out of control i simply log out for the meanwhile until i feel better.
Moreso i discovered that having an understanding ear to share with brings a lot of unbelievable relief….i have tried to look for friends with such condition as mine, to connect to. Anyone interested can hook up with me on facebook tru my email (levi4real2004@yahoo.com). One undersanding ear is worth a thousand pretty faces when it comes to social phobia.
The whole Facebook thing can be tricky if you have SA. On the one hand, it can help by giving you some self-controlled social practice in the comfort of your own home. On the other hand, it can be so much harder to determine social cues, to know how/when to respond appropriately to status updates and event invites, etc…people with SA who lack social experience or skills might have trouble in those areas. Not to mention how all the activity on Facebook can make you feel terribly lonely, a sentiment that many people here are echoing…
I think the best way to go about it is to “diversify” your social outlets. Yes, use Facebook, but also get out into the real world and push yourself, little by little, to interact with people.
Couldn’t agree more with what most people are saying here. Facebook is not a good idea for someone with social anxiety. I signed up about 3 months ago, and although it was fun at first it soon turned into a nightmare! If someone posted a comment on my wall asking how I was, I would just stare at the comment trying to think of something to write, worrying what others would think. Even looking at other people’s profiles is not good either as it just makes you feel worse. I deleted my account a week ago and feel a lot better
I honestly see what you are saying but you are wrong. Coming first hand from someone who has Social anxiety facebook is the worst thing ever. WHy? I see people I know commenting on everyone elses wall and then there is my wall with nothing. Everytime I go on facebook all I can think about is whether i have any real friends. Trust me if you are a SAD sufferer its not worth having a facebook.
I’m glad that I’m not the only one who stresses about facebook. I go through periods of deactivating and reactivating it. It can be hard when someone asks you why you deleted it or tries to convince you to go back on, since most people you know probably use it. I guess you just have to come up with an explanation you feel comfortable with.