Planning a wedding when you have social anxiety disorder (SAD) can be stressful. If you suffer with severe social anxiety, and have not been diagnosed or received treatment, that should be your first line of defense. If the idea of leaving the house or making a phone call induces a panic attack, no amount of strategizing is going to ease your symptoms. However, if you are already receiving treatment, or suffer with milder social anxiety, tips such as those below will help to make planning a wedding a little easier.
- Think small. If possible, plan a small informal gathering instead of a large formal affair. Small could even mean just you and your fiance. Remember that the wedding should reflect what you and he want, not what you think everyone else expects.
- Enlist help. If a small wedding is just not possible, enlist the help of people that you trust to assist in the planning stages, such as a friend, parent or sibling. If your fiancee is gung-ho, great! Talk with her about handling the endless phone calls necessary to make the day a success.
Better yet, if your budget allows, hire a wedding planner. Although to some this may seem like a frivolous luxury, wedding planners have existing relationships with merchants allowing for easier negotiations. The bottom line -- know your limits and ask others for help.
- Choose your methods. If the burden of planning a large wedding does end up falling on your shoulders, consult a good online planning web site and see if you can't do much of the planning and preparation through less intimidating methods. For example, for the bride, instead of visiting a large bridal shop, see if a local seamstress or friend is able to make a dress.
Instead of calling on various caterers, photographers, and florists to compare prices and products, make choices based on recommendations from friends or family or through online research. Use email correspondence when possible, both to make communication less intimidating for yourself, and to have a record of promises made.
- Confide in the officiant. If meeting with the officiant of the religious ceremony induces anxiety, consider confiding in him about your anxiety. Having the officiant on your side and sensitive to your anxiety may help to ease awkwardness and tension during the ceremony.
- Don't let negativity affect you. People with SAD are sensitive to criticism and negative judgments by others. However, there are bound to be disagreements and misunderstandings when planning any size of wedding. Small weddings may mean friends and family feel left out. Larger weddings may mean personality clashes, family tiffs, and religious differences. At any wedding, chances are good that someone will be unhappy about something that you have planned. Unless they have a valid complaint that has an obvious course of action -- let it go.
Finally, if you suffer with SAD and you are planning a wedding -- congratulate yourself! It means that you have already passed the hurdle of finding someone special to spend the rest of your life with. Enjoy your day and be proud of your accomplishment.
Source: Nina Calloway, Weddings at About.com. First Steps in Planning Your Wedding. Accessed September 3, 2008.
