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Five Ways to Be a Friend to Someone with Social Anxiety Disorder

Tips to Help Others


Updated December 02, 2011

If you know someone with social anxiety disorder (SAD) it can be hard to know how to be a good friend to that person. On one hand you want to be sensitive to the challenges that the disorder brings; on the other hand you want to help bring out the best in your friend. Here are five helping tips if you find yourself in this situation.

Be Friendly

Just because someone with SAD seems aloof, that does not mean she does not want to have friends. Often people with the disorder crave friendships but are too anxious to initiate and maintain them. If you are a naturally friendly and outgoing person, you could make a great companion for someone with the disorder. Extend your friendship and get to know the person with SAD.

Don't Criticize

People with SAD are often overly critical of themselves and expect others to be critical of them as well. Don't add to the problem by being overly critical yourself. Don't tell the person that he is too quiet or that he just needs to loosen up. Be understanding of the limits that social anxiety can put on a person's life and don't expect more than they can give.

Read About SAD

The best way to ultimately help someone with SAD is to really understand the disorder yourself. Learn about the causes, symptoms, treatments and what it's like to live with social anxiety. Read books, watch movies or learn about famous people with the disorder. Arm yourself with knowledge so that you can be more understanding.

Help Others Get Help

If you suspect someone you know has SAD but has not been diagnosed or received treatment, help that person get help. That might involve making a doctor's appointment, tracking down a support group or finding a self-help program. Do as much of the legwork as you can, to make it as easy as possible for the person to take that first step.

Break Through Denial

Often people with SAD will deny their symptoms. This is because anxiety is humiliating and embarrassing for them, and the last thing they want is for it to be noticed. However, during times of personal crisis or when dealing with emotional upheaval, the person with SAD might be more willing to talk simply because their anxiety becomes too much to handle. These are also good opportunities to suggest seeking support for their social anxiety.

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