Shy vs. Introvert: Understanding the Dimensions of Introversion and Shyness

Shyness and introversion are commonly mistaken as being the same thing. Shyness involves fear of negative evaluation (and shares some similarities to social anxiety), whereas introversion refers to a tendency toward becoming over-stimulated and the need to be alone to gain energy.

Shy vs. Outgoing, Introvert vs. Extrovert

The opposite of shyness is being outgoing, while the opposite of introversion is extroversion. These concepts are similar but different.

The extrovert appears similar, often making friends easily. However, the core feature of the extrovert is a need for stimulation and time spent with others. This is reflected in brain neuroimaging studies that show different activation of areas of the brain in extroverts compared to introverts.

Dimensions of Shyness and Introversion

To summarize, we can think of each of these concepts as follows:

• Shy: Fear of negative evaluation, a tendency toward avoidance.
• Outgoing: Tendency to approach others, no fear of being around other people.
• Introvert: Becomes easily overstimulated and needs time alone to regain energy after spending time with people.
• Extrovert: Need for stimulation, recharges by spending time with other people, feels depleted after spending too much time alone.
  

Examples of Personality Dimensions

To help figure out which group you most closely match, the following describes how a person leaning toward each category might respond to some typical social/interaction scenarios.

Have a look below and see if any of the patterns sound right for you.

Outgoing-Extrovert

• At a party: This is so much fun! I feel so energized. I can’t wait to talk to everyone.
• At the library: I’m falling asleep. Who can I find to talk to? Maybe I should text someone. I wonder what Jenny is doing tonight.
• When the phone rings: Oh! I wonder who that could be. (Picks up after first ring).
• Meeting someone for the first time: (Walks over and introduces herself) “Hi, my name is Sarah, I grew up with Kate. What’s your name?
• In a meeting at work: I love meetings, it is great to be able to talk through ideas in a group. I like the give and take, and always do a fair share of the talking.

Shy-Extrovert

• At a party: I love being around all these people, but I’m too scared to talk to them.
• At the library: It’s pretty boring being at the library, but at least I can hide in a corner and not make a fool of myself.
• When the phone rings: Hmmm. I wonder who that could be? I really want to find out, but I am afraid to answer the phone. (Picks up too late).
• Meeting someone for the first time: (Waits nervously hoping to be introduced) “Nice to meet you.”
• In a meeting at work: I like getting together for meetings with everyone, but I’m too nervous to share my ideas.

Outgoing-Introvert

• At a party: I really enjoy talking and getting to know people one-on-one. The whole crowd scene is a bit overwhelming, though.
• At the library: I love being at the library. I want to learn about so many topics. Maybe I should chat with the librarian, I bet they are a wealth of knowledge.
• When the phone rings: Oh, I really hope that is Jane. I can’t wait to find out how her trip was. (Picks up after a few rings, lets Jane do most of the talking).
• Meeting someone for the first time: (Waits for a quiet moment and introduces himself) “You have a lovely home. I noticed you have quite a collection of books; are you an avid reader? My name is Tom, by the way.”
• In a meeting at work: Meetings tire me out. I like to think ideas through before I share my thoughts, and it’s hard to do in a meeting. I always take notes and then follow up with people once I’ve had a chance to sort through everything.
  

Shy-Introvert

• At a party: I wish I could just go home. Being around all these people is exhausting, and I am too nervous to talk to anyone.
• At the library: I love being at the library. I can hide my nose in a book and read all day. I’m too scared to ask the librarian a question, though.
• When the phone rings: Oh no. I can’t pick up the phone. What if I make a fool of myself? I don’t really want to talk to anyone anyway. (Let it go to voicemail).
• Meeting someone for the first time: (Hides, hoping to avoid introductions) “Nice to meet you.” 
• In a meeting at work: I am terrified of meetings. Not only is it too much listening to everyone banter about ideas, but I’m so nervous sitting there that I can’t even follow what is being said. I wish I could just hide at my desk.

Coping With Shyness

If you are shy, social situations can be challenging and may lead to distress or avoidance. You may be sensitive to other people's judgments, making it difficult to speak in public, try new things, or enter unfamiliar social situations.

Some things that can make it easier to manage feelings of shyness include:

Appreciate Your Strengths

Shy people are often sensitive, caring, empathetic, and responsive. While you may feel more apprehensive in some social situations, remember that people appreciate these qualities.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Shy people naturally tend to avoid social situations, meaning they have less experience practicing different social behaviors and interactions. Start looking for opportunities to practice different social behaviors in different settings. The more you practice, the more confident you'll feel.

Use Relaxation Techniques

If you find yourself feeling nervous in social situations, practice relaxation techniques to manage these feelings of anxiety. Deep breathing is one strategy that can relieve feelings of mental and physical anxiety, which can help you feel calmer when you are in social situations.

Keep in Mind

Shyness and introversion are often thought of as synonyms, but it is important to note that they are not the same. People who are shy tend to fear that they will be negatively evaluated by others, which puts it on the same spectrum as social anxiety (although people can be shy and not socially anxious). Introverts, on the other hand, have to expend energy when they socialize, so they need time alone to recharge.

If you are experiencing symptoms of social anxiety, including distress and avoidance that interferes with your ability to function in your daily life, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.