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Readers Respond: How do you handle eating in front of others?

Responses: 105

By , About.com Guide

Updated August 23, 2011

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Can't eat in front of friends/crush

I have to eat lunch at dance every Monday thru Thursday. There is a guy there that I have a crush on, and I eat with him and all my friends at dance. Recently I have noticed it becoming increasingly awkward eating around them. So glad I'm not alone.
—Guest Anonymous

It just scares me

It seems like I just can't eat around certain people. Most of my family I'm fine with, and some of my closest friends. But whenever I'm around other people, I start to have anxiety attacks. I am very aware of my social anxiety. This probably is the reason for why I'm afraid to eat around others. Even when I'm with my boyfriend, I just can't. It's not entirely the fear of spilling something on my self or whatever. But I realized that this is more noticeable when I am around guys. Adding to my social anxiety, I am very self conscious. I get afraid of what someone might say about what I'm eating or whatever. I have also been told that I'm underweight (5ft 6 and 95lbs). Maybe this fear is what causes me not to want to eat, even when I'm not around people I'm afraid to eat in front of.
—Guest Scarlette

anxiety

I'm 20 and have had problems with food my entire life even when I was a baby I would throw up on my birthday and special occasions, my first week of school my parents thought I was sick but I was just so nervous I was throwing up. I am getting better at controlling it, sometimes I can eat at restaurants other times my anxiety is just out of control and I cannot eat, it really depends on who I am with and where I eat. I find if I stick to foods I have had before it calms me down because I know I can do this as I have eaten it before and I haven't been sick, just mind games. But saying that I caught up with some mates the other day and went to a restaurant I have never been to before and as soon as we got there my anxiety kicked in, my plate arrives and I'm just like"fkkk how am I going to eat all this", lol. Really embarrassed as I couldn't manage to hardly eat a thing. They're all like wtf why aren't you eating....
—Guest beno

"Eating In Front of My Boyfriend"

I'm a really self-conscience person, and I am constantly worrying about what people think. I'm perfectly fine eating in front of people, but when it comes to the person I like I just can't eat because I just feel awkward.. I feel l'll be eating too fast or too slow or I'll get something in my teeth. I just wish I could get over this.
—Guest Dana

Happy i am not alone

I'm soo happy to know I'm not alone. I feel like a weirdo!! I can't eat around people and makes me sooo nauseous and I get soo anxious before going to eat. If I take my own meal to my job its not that bad and the routine helps me a lot, but a RESTAURANT? like no.. I can't.. the whole atmosphere is soo nauseating..When it's late at night it's worse.. like everything dark and fancy it's soo scary. However I have told a few people.. and that's kinda cool because they can sort of understand you and you can even practice with them and it's ok if you go with them to a restaurant and you don't manage to eat.
—Guest ANDREX

Paranoid of Being Judged..

When I was in middle school and high school, I was the same as what Guest Laura described. But now after four years in college, I felt like since there's nobody that knew me from back then to judge me, it doesn't bug me as much. However, I have skipped lunches a lot since college started. I feel really nervous when going to the cafeterias, and it feels even more nerve-wrecking to sit by myself, alone, to eat at a table. When I'm with friends, I feel more secure, but just alone, my shy-eating problems come. Even when I bring my own home lunches, I try to find a place that not that many people pass by, to eat. I usually do like food, even though I'm picky, but in front of others I eat really slow and it just looks awkward to them. I try to look past being hungry when I'm with classmates, or when I'm actually not, I won't join and eat with them at all even though they're eating right in front of me, which makes them feel awkward. And this problem is only when guys are around me. Solution?
—Guest Misa

I don't know what to do:/

I never actually found a way to get over it. I'm in year 8 now and I've always had a problem with eating in front of people. Once I fainted because I skipped Breakfast and like usual skipped lunch. I'm stupid for doing it and people tell me I could end up with some eating disorder. I did try one thing though. My school is 2 story right? so we have these massive stairs all over the place and me and my friend that had the same problem went and ate under the stairs or in the toilets even! But then we got caught.. we got in some deep trouble for being out of bouds so I just went back to skipping lunch. I hated it, but it was the only way I could eat at school with out freaking out and spilling it all over me and I'm also just self countious because I get afraid that I eat to loud or something. Although.. I never really had a problem eating infront of my family or that one freind. It's just everybody else.:/
—Guest Kira

I've had this for 10 years

I'm 27 now and I remember developing this at the end of high school. I just can't eat at restaurants, and the fancier the occasion the worse. The atmosphere just nauseates me, makes me feel hot and dizzy, and the smells make me think I'm going to vomit. I have to force myself to eat slowly and I have no appetite. I'm skinny and I don't have an eating disorder because I eat so comfortably at home with my family. The food just nauseates me and it's not about it being fattening. Even salad nauseated me. I guess it's a fear of throwing up. Sometimes I get comfortable enough in the conversation and relax and can eat. Other times I just end up taking the whole thing to go.
—Guest Lily

I can't eat in front of my boss!!!

I'm 18 yrs of age. Everyday at work, at 10:00 am me and a couple of other collaegues go down to buy a cake from the cafe. I know that this doesn't sound bad, but when I get the time to eat it, I can't because he is there. When he goes to the printer I make sure that I have a small bite, and when he is around me, I face away from him so that I can eat. I usually don't bother to go out for lunch either, but that is improving, going out for lunch I mean. I feel that anyone can overcome that fear of eating in front of people bit by bit, try eating a small chocolate bar, take one that has segments, so that you can slowly get back into the habit of eating in front of others, remember, your anxious. You will be able to eat in front of other eventually, it just takes time.
—Guest J

Boyfriend's Parents

It started when I was in 8th grade on my way to see an ex boyfriend and I got so nervous on the way to go see him that I puked. Now I can't eat in front of boyfriend's parents. Doesn't matter which boyfriend, I even dated someone for 18 months and still couldn't eat in front of his parents. Just thinking about it would make me feel nauseas. I now have to make up excuses why I can't go over to my current boyfriends house because I can't handle it. The stress is exasperating. I always throw up and even taking a bite to eat would cause me to throw up. Sometimes just the thought. But it's mainly a problem when it comes to a sit down meal. I can eat chips or a popsicle, but I can't sit down at the table. I need help. and I have no idea where to start.
—Guest ACD

I can't eat in front of my mother.

Right now I'm waiting for my mom to leave the house. I didn't eat lunch at school and now am really hungry but I too scared to even run down and get a small snack. This problem happens mostly with my mom, especially during non-meal times or eating more than I should. It's not like my mom has ever criticized my weight or that I'm overweight (4'11'', 94 pounds), but I feel like she sees me as fat and that makes me feel fat. I know it's probably just paranoia but I can't shake it.
—Guest Hannah

yeah, i have weird eating things c:

Okay, well I've always been a bit funny eating around people. It's completely fine when I'm with my muma or my sister... but anyone else I just can't do it, it's not that the food is messy or anything it's just I feel guilty and embarrassed when I eat & have a list of embarrassing foods.. I've never eaten at school apart from skittles, they're the only thing I actually manage to eat in front of others, I'm not sure what it is really c: when I stay out or go to parties I end up not eating for days & I'm soo hungry but dont even talk about it.. something that has effected me lately is my boyfriend, his mum is great & I'm a veggi so she cooked me a veggi meal, but I just couldn't eat it & I felt sooo bad :/ Everyone finds it weird that I don't eat & often ask me about it. I feel so stupid when i talk about it because eating is such a normal thing, yet I'm embarrassed by it, reading these made me feel better, thanks! :)
—Guest only me

I just can't eat!!

At lunch at school I NEVER eat because I feel that people are staring at me and judging me! I can't even take a bite of anything! My friends always look at me when I don't eat and ask, "Why aren't you eating?" I'm kinda afraid to say, "Because I can't eat in front of you!" so instead I say something like, "I'm not hungry" or "I had a big breakfast so I'm ok" but I say these things like everyday! So I think their starting to figure out that there's something wrong! It's not that I'm not hungry, it's just that I can't eat around anyone! I feel bad for lying to them, but how weird would it be if I told them I can't eat around people! But I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one who can't eat around people!
—Guest Carly

I'm so scared

So me and my mom dad and brother are going out to eat and I hate eating in front of other people. I can eat in front of my fam but no other people and my biggest fear would be to order the food.
—Guest Kala

That Awkward Moment

I'm 18 years old and I thought that this would just disappear once I was older but it didn't, it got worse actually. I can't eat in front of people. And when I do I feel like people are judging me. I don't know why and I can't help it. I've been told that I have great manners so I'm not worried about chewing with my mouth open or anything it's just eating. I don't know why I can't do it. And if I do eat in front of people I always hide my face so they can't really see me. I use to be/ still kinda am bulimic. I mean it has gotten better but I still feel horrible when I eat. People always ask me why I don't eat and all I can say is "I'm not hungry" when what I really want to say is "I can't eat in front of you." But that makes me sound like some alien or something. Is there something wrong with me? I don't understand. Why am I so nervous to eat in front of people?
—Guest Bridgette

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  3. Social Anxiety Disorder
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  6. Eating in Front of Others - How Do You Handle Eating in Front of Others

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