Life feels like hell with SAD
- I'm 13 years old, and I don't know what's happened with me. I dread going to school, or meeting new people, and tend to think so much about upcoming social situations that makes me try my best to avoid them. I've a huge difficulty in approaching anyone, even my closest friends and family, and if I talk, I usually just answer questions asked by others. The only place I'm comfortable to talk is online, because I feel anonymous. I try to fight my anxiety, and face the problems, but before that I think so much, and when I end up in the situation, I feel completely out of my mind. I have a constant fear that whenever I'm seen by anyone, they are judging me badly and will soon make fun of me, and I've been bullied a lot at school. I never had much friends at all, and if I've had friends, they were 1 or 2. However, if I've friends, I feel comfortable being around them (I feel comfortable with my family as well) because I know them enough that they won't judge me badly, but I'm still trying to fight it.
- —Guest Draconic
Just nice
- I'm a junior in high school and in sophomore year I felt like I had all the friends in the world. But once I quit doing drugs and started dating the love of my life they all just stopped talking to me. No one texted me over the summer. Once they stopped talking to me I didn't know how to handle it. The only person who would text me after that was my boyfriend. Now I feel that any person I talk to is just talking to me to be nice. I feel like I'm a mentally retarded person everyone makes fun of and I shouldn't be at the school any more. I can't trust anyone so I won't talk to anyone because I don't think they want to be my friend. Because I feel like I'm a weird awkward person who doesn't belong anywhere. I even feel like my own mother talks to me like that I'm so lost and nothing is helping
- —Guest Alyce
...
- All my life I have been shy. Ever since I can remember. I have never been close to family friends that I have known for years, and you think I would be so confident and comfortable around them. The worst is probably my uncle, Aunts, cousins etc. because I really should feel confident around them. Every time I have seen my family at get togethers I am too shy to talk to them and end up looking stupid as I always go bright red. Going red also applies to every social situation I am in, even if I am not embarrassed...I go red. I don't know how to control it. I have never been close to anyone. Everyone seems to have those friends that they're always with or that family member that they can tell anything to...I have no one. I blame myself for the majority of it.
- —Guest Gg.
I feel like my life is a black hole
- I recently turned 13. Ever since the 5th grade I have felt sad, mad, shy, and confused. I don't know who my real friends are, I can never look a person straight in the eye and tell them how I feel. I am too shy to express my feelings around others. My parents are starting to notice but I'm hoping they don't find out the whole situation. I am scared of getting hurt, being left behind. I don't know what's going on with my life. I used to be a happy, funny, free person. But now I feel like I am cruelly trapped in a black hole and no one understands what I'm going through. I don't think I would ever tell anyone what's going on because I am too shy and I know they would probably never believe me. I need help but don't know where to look.
- —Guest zena
Sad..
- I have read many responses on this website and it's nice knowing there are people just like me out there. I'm a senior in high school, every day is a struggle for me. I don't eat at school because I'm afraid people will look at me. I hate when people stare at me, I skip many classes throughout the day because I just don't want to be around anyone. And it's not just my peers, I have a very hard time talking to my parents about anything.. I hate having to deal with SAD and I hope that someday I will get better..
- —Guest Nick
It's hard
- I'm 12 years old, and I have SAD. It's hard. I hate going to school, I hate when people look at me, it seems like it'sall they do. I can't even make eye contact with a loved one for over 20 seconds. My parents don't understand how hard it is.. they always complain about how I never leave the house. And I'm scared to. The thought of rejection is overpowering me. Help.
- —Guest hannah
social anxiety
- Reading these stories makes me so sad, not happy, that other people feel the same way, but sad because other people have to go through what I go through on a day to day basis. I live with social anxiety and panic disorder. Some days are easier than others but most days my mind races so much that I cannot seem to let go and just be myself. You would think after so long of knowing someone I would be able to relax and be myself, but this is not the case. Social anxiety makes it to where I'm stuck and cannot just let go and live. Anyways, if this is any help I think all you guys should meditate and take a daily dose of L-theanine. Remember we are all special people on this sight and we are capable of overcoming these negative thoughts just hang in there and always stay positive no matter what life throws in your face.
- —Guest taylor
It's not nice
- I think I may have this, not really sure. Before the age of 11 I was completely fine and I had a big circle of friends. But everything soon changed after. Because at that age, people start to notice things more and they would judge you if you didn't tick all the boxes. So obviously I had a hard time at High School all the way to College, age 17. I always feel that people are constantly judging me, and I know some actually do. Even when I had to introduce myself to the class, I feel that some of the people will hate me. It's also hard to make friends because I can't really do much until I completely trust them. Having this makes people think I'm being shy and stuck up, but really I'm just like any person. I'm really loud once I get to know someone. And a lot of people just see right through me. It's also annoying that the cause of this is from emotional abuse and bullying, but people think it's my personality. It's not at all. And they also think I'm mental too and call me a freak.
- —Guest Sarah
WOW
- I'm a 32 yr old female. I can understand the responses, I'm dealing with a lot of the same. I don't have friends cause I'm scared to let people get close to me, when I try to get out I feel like I'm being watched. I try not to make eye contact. I don't even sit on my porch, I don't know where to look when I'm out. Sounds silly but it's real. I'm tired of being this way, it's DRAINING me. I'm ready to live. I thought I was by myself with these feelings, makes me feel a lil better and I have hope.
- —Guest Guest L.Wow
I never stare
- People always think I'm staring at them but I'm not. It's like I sit in class, and people all around the class think I'm staring at them. After a while they constantly block their eyes so I can't see them. I know this cause I see this through my vision but I'm NOT looking at them. For example, I'll be looking at the teacher, and the girl beside me thinks I'm staring at her. The worst part is when at one point I will just look across the class and I would see somebody blocking their face and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE THERE. Anyways, this has ruined my life and I haven't told anybody about it... but they probably know... I've lost friends, my social life, and can't even talk to girls anymore! Girls probably think I'm a pervert, and guys think I'm gay. Don't know what to do, Any tips PLEASE??
- —Guest john
Making the choice
- I was always to afraid to talk and the words I would painfully shove out of my mouth were a constant struggle because of people giving me a confused, judging look. A look that told me I was pathetic and lonely . I blame most of this on marijuana and low self-esteem. But after a while I began to convert to extrovert. I would find myself in situations that would repeat themselves over and over and it's like I was stuck but couldn't get out. So I snapped, but in a good way. I threw in some enthusiasm and gave them what they wanted to see how they reacted. Exercise and heavy metal helped me out of the rut. The rut of depression, boredom, misanthropy and fear. It was a hard mental change but it is completely within yourself. No one watches and no one cares. It's just you trying to tell yourself to change. But change for the better and keep your head up. We only live for so long why waste it on fear and loathing. Or just try the SSRI.
- —Guest Guest 00
Doctor?
- I know I have S.A.D but haven't yet been diagnosed. I tried telling my mum, she just didn't get it. She told me to stop 'being silly'. Although, I might be going to the doctor's soon about an ear problem, so I thought I might manage to pluck up the courage to at least mention it, as long as my mum isn't in the room. I have no idea what's going to happen and I am terrified. But I know I have to do something while I'm young. My biggest worry about it is I'll just break down and cry in front of the doctor. I feel so easily humiliated. Anyway....wish me luck..?
- —Guest :/
I feel alone.
- Reading all these posts have made me feel better about myself but then I kind of feel bad/selfish for thinking that....I'm not sure where my life is going right now because it feels like it's going nowhere. My SAD has gotten so bad recently that when I walk outside I have trouble breathing and I feel like I'm walking and even breathing wrong and that people are looking at me and judging me for being weak...see I'm in the military and I live on base, it feels like everyone knows I don't belong here and are laughing at me and when they look at me and I look back at them it's like I feel that I'm doing it wrong if that makes sense...I just don't know what to do, I wish there was some kinda support group that I could go to to talk with people like me.
- —Guest Skylee
I feel lost at times
- I hate it. I feel paralyzed at times. I used to be social and now I feel I'm moving towards being a hermit. A lot of it may be due to my slow thinking and lack of effective comprehension. I hate my recall abilities. It's frustrating reading something and not being able to recall what was just read. Which leads more to my SAD, than anything else. On a positive note, I do have some fight in me, and refuse to quit being the best I can be. It's just hard to open up to anyone. I'm so private. Maybe this post is a start to some kind of recovery. I hope so!
- —Guest ME
Overwhelming for working mum
- The stigmatism of even living with a mental disability can be enough to want to shut yourself in... I find it harder each day to go out to do the simplest tasks, like grocery shopping, picking up my munchkin from daycare and going to work with about 30-40 people. The funny thing is before I developed the disorder at the age of 18, I was the life of the party whilst having many friends who still do not realize what has happened to me in the past years. Family support is nowhere to be seen and getting a mental health worker is tough... I really wish I could meet others with this condition as I do not mind company that understands instead of criticizing. For those suffering alone out there, just know you are not alone and please... If you ever happen to feel SAD, check out the poem ~Desiderata~ it is very lovely as well as uplifting :)
- —Guest The Meek One
