I feel like a jerk
- I don't think I have this problem. But I feel like I should share this. For all the people that are diagnosed with it I'm sorry. Just recently I found out there was a social anxiety disorder. Because my boyfriend finally decided to tell me... after I broke up with him. I feel like a jerk for judging him for something that wasn't his fault or that it was even there. I didn't know but I still feel like a selfish brat because of it. And now as I read all of your guys' lives and how it is every day. I can't help but wonder how he is feeling. Im sorry I hope each and everyone of you finds happiness :)
- —Guest Emily
I hate this
- I have had this for many years and I have suffered in silence. It's getting worse and I can't stop it tbh. I just need help. I get constantly paranoid over how I look. I think people will find me annoying or weird and inside I feel like I'm going mad. I feel like people are judging me and if I walk away from a group of people I have been with, paranoid thoughts start running through my head that they will start saying horrible things about me. I often feel detached from reality and sometimes I get panic attacks just from talking to people and although I have an amazing set of friends. I still get paranoid that they will say something horrible about me behind my back.
- —Guest anon
it was supposed to be different
- I always wanted to be popular and well liked, but that just wasn't in the cards for me. Life seems so easy for some people but for me its such a struggle. I am afraid to go anywhere because I never know if I'm going to have a fit of anxiety or not. I'm so sensitive to other people that I can feel it in my body, like my nerves are flaring up. Especially jealousy. I drank in my 20s and 30s because of anxiety, and in my teens I was bulimic. I have missed out on a lot of life. (Addictions are so time consuming!) Now I'm in my 40s and I am so far behind. I haven't grown, and I haven't matured. I don't know where to begin to have a life. It makes me feel so bad about myself and the anxiety from the negative self talk is overwhelming. I envy of people who have rich, full lives. Mine is lonely and sad. I'm a really nice person and I'm considerate and polite. Its too bad I can't share it.
- —Guest kk
It's slowly killing me.
- I feel as if people are judging the way I look, talk and walk. A simple walk to my next lesson leaves me soaked in sweat. I lack the confidence to raise my hand and speak up in class. My friends just think that I'm antisocial, but they don't understand that the thought of the attention being on makes me feel sick. It has recently become worse and has effected the way I interact with my family. I am unemployed, underachieving, lonely and close to the edge.
- —Guest Penguin
- Every time I walk into school or in class, I feel like everyone's watching me, making fun of me ,laughing behind my back, planning on hurting me or something. When I go to class I'm so scared to sit in the front cause all these thoughts go in my head what if these people don't like me? Does my hair look bad? Do I fit in with them? Am I as funny as them? What if I say the wrong word? I always feel as if people are staring at me, it's gotten worse when I walk past people it seems as if all eyes are drawn on me, thoughts start running through my head and I walk faster to get out of it, I get scared.....wonder why are you looking me? Do I have something on my shirt? What is it? To wrap this all up I'm just scared of what people think of me and my anxiety keeps getting worse and worse. Can someone please help me? I'm on the edge.
- —Guest Unknown
sad is a tough life
- Suffered from SAD my whole life but never realized I had it till last month... Trouble making friends, going out to places, always feel like your being watched, I can't even speak to close family I've known all my life. If that's not tough I don't know what is .... need to find a solution quick... therapy's not working cuz the psychiatrist thinks I'm nuts and everyone is shy in their own way.
- —Guest kayla
I hate this. I want it to be over.
- I have NEVER been shy in my whole life...I have always been very loud and hyper. I always worry about luck, or what others think of me. The slightest reasons/evidence makes me believe that someone hates me. I feel like I try to find a reason to be worried about... and it is because I had no friends in 6th and partially 7th grade. Truth is, I have never had good friends. I always wanted them... I care about whether I have friends or not more than ANYTHING. And I just want this whole thing to stop. Life is not about pleasing everyone. I am DONE with trying to be perfect, and making everyone HAPPY. I do make mistakes, and sometimes when I try to do something right...I get misunderstood (or at least I think the person will misunderstand me)
- —Guest someone...
- I only feel completely easy when I'm at home by myself, although it's a pathetic and lonely lifestyle I think I'll substitute this feeling of easiness away from the word as happiness. I think it's better to get away from everything and everyone, that way there won't be expectations or stress. I'm done fantasizing how my life could have been and I started thinking realistically to make myself as happy as I can. I hope to move out and just to live alone for the rest of my life in quiet solitude, and simply live for necessities. Somewhere deep down inside I know I don't want this but the years hoping some miracle would save me have past. I won't get into my story, there's no point, extreme social anxiety is a b*tch to live with. Living alone might be challenging still but at least that way I'll be away from and family and friends. Oh wait, yea just family. Peace :)
- —Guest Irrelevant
- Strength in numbers! Get all the support you can from whomever wants to help and ask yourself everyday, "what do I want to do" and "how do I want to feel" be true to you and you can never be let down. Medicine didn't help me but love support and hope did (:
- —Guest juicyy
I am struggling
- Hi I am 30. I've been shy all my life. And in school I couldn't speak. Teacher and other students used to call me quiet. Every other kids used to talk and I was considered patient and would not behave in a mischievous way. I wanted do so many things in life but I couldn't. In college I couldn't make friends and acne made me stop going to college. So much low self esteem I was feeling those days and still feel. I failed and I dropped out. Since then I am in my house. I only go out if one or two friends come to go out with me. 12 years is a long time. I haven't had any job. But I have to find a job. I wonder who would give me a job. I haven't got an education or any professional degree. I am 30 now and living life is like hell. I am very bad at talking to people apart from my family members. And now they also are not happy with me as I am not making any money. I have to get out of my home.
- —Guest Max
- I didn't know what it was until I did a little research. It was something I couldn't ignore about myself. Sometimes I feel out of place unable to do the norms, without overthinking a situation. I'm constantly thinking of my next move or what to say. I feel uncoordinated physically and emotionally. It just started to ruin my life. I can barely hold a conversation with my boyfriend and it is hurting my love life. I knew something was wrong but didn't know what. I'm always thinking of what someone thinks of me and the way I act or if they know I am socially awkward. I feel trapped as if no one can help me or this feeling of unbelonging.
- —Guest court coture
- I am CONSTANTLY worried about what others are thinking about my actions/words. I'm scared to make something to eat at a friend's house because I feel like the parents are wondering "why isn't this girl eating at her own house?" And I hate eating in front of people I'm not close with because I feel like they're watching me and thinking how I'm eating too much or thinking I look ugly while I eat. Like the thought of sitting next to my boyfriend and eating FREAKS me out to no end. Isn't that awkward...? Just him staring at the side of my face. Let alone me EATING. I never know what to talk about and I feel like watching a movie with a guy is totally weird and awkward. I instantly feel ugly as soon as I'm around other girls and I always think they're judging me or noticing my flaws.. Which makes it hard to make friends. Thinking and worrying about my appearance takes up 75% of my thoughts and I can't focus on the present fun I could be having. It sucks....
- —Guest jenn
- I've always been shy but when I switched schools in high school it got really bad. I didn't really talk to anyone and I became depressed. It slowly started getting better but I was never fully comfortable around anyone at school. I never hung out after school and didn't make any real friends. Then I started college. I was hoping it would be my chance to start over but it only got worse. I live on campus so the only time I can be myself is when I go home on the weekends. During the week, I just stay in my room unless I'm in class. I have one friend here but I'm not completely comfortable with her so I only hang out with her if she invites me. I'm seeing the school counselor so hopefully she can help me.
- —Guest mackenzie
- I've been "shy" my whole life. Since middle school and acne I've been terrified of everyone everything. I absolutely refuse to assert myself because when I do I blush. All my life I have taken whatever others have said and made it my truth. My only real friend in high school convinced me I was bisexual and I've been telling people that ever since. My current boyfriend is twice my age and I'm only dating him because he loves me. I'm too afraid to break it off because I'll be alone. Again. I even tried cheating on him with his best friend a girl and then told him about it. I'm not even bisexual and I had sex with a girl to keep up appearances. After that I crashed my car and my mother thinks I'm suicidal. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of feeling like life is so much easier for everyone else. I'm tired of being so afraid of everything that I don't do anything anymore. I don't want anything anymore because wanting it might be wrong in someone's eyes. Do people really live this way?
- —Guest Oddrey
allways fighting it
- As far back as I can think I have been shy and worried what everyone was thinking about me. Pretty much every time someone looked at me I wonder what this person's thinking and it drills in my head. I don't like to go places with people there, I hate going around strangers, I choke and mumble and cant talk I get so overwhelmed when I think people are looking at when I'm doing certain things. I start freaking out when I walk away from someone or towards them I feel judged the most when I'm walking up it gets to where I pretty much walking down the street with my head down trying not to look at people. It's just a messed up feeling and way to look at life because you get so wrapped up in what people think you don't get to enjoy life. Your life skips by at times, it feels like I go into a daze for months at a time and shelter the real me away. It's like my mind's blank like I'm on autopilot. It is exactly what I am going through it's like I am on autopilot, weed helped me heaps..
- —Guest sam