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Readers Respond: What is it like to live with SAD?

Responses: 299

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Updated June 11, 2009

Hey

I enjoyed reading all your pieces. What makes me socially awkward is that my hands sweat. I have hyperhydrosis. Now imagine that. Not being able to shake people hands. They assume I'm a dick. I can't get close to anyone out of the fear that they might want to shake my hand. There is a surgery for what I have that can cure me but I'm poor and its super expensive. I too feel like people are always judging me and I think it all stems from my sweaty palms but who knows I may have SAD. I don't have insurance so here in the states we are left to fend for ourselves. Doctors won't come near you unless you are insured. At times I feel bi-poalr other times like I have AdHd but I can't diagnos myself so I'm screwed. I self medicate with alcohol but that in turn gets me trouble because I don't know how to drink. Thanks for letting me vent and please let me know if you can help.
—Guest Richard V.

Living in an alien world

In high school, I knew I was a stupid kid and particularly not smart at anything. At home those times, my mother was suffering from high depression. She used to keep screaming about things I have never heard of and at times she would be beat me up when frustrated. My dad never spoke to her but was very close to my elder sister. College was terrible. At 21, I realized there is something wrong with me and not everybody thinks like the way I do, especially taking 20 minutes to write a few words, always being late to office and above all living life in fear. Soon I was left with little or no contact with family and no friends as usual. At 23, I gathered my guts to see why I am so special and I was diagnosed with SAD. I am 24 & I have never loved anybody in life and sadly my parents and elder sister can't digest the fact that I need help. It seems like everyday they need my help to get their chores done but do not want to know my problem. They don't want to know. I still live in alien world.
—Guest Lilac89

Quit my job.

I just quit my job. I wasn't doing as well as I had hoped. It was a very difficult set of circumstances (which I can't change). Made worse by my anxiety, which I can change, I think. I am seeking professional opinions about what I can do. I have a psychiatrist appointment and a psychologist appointment next week. I have been reading about being mindful and aware in a non judgmental way. When I feel anxious, I name it and move on, eg 'Oh yes, here come those old anxious feelings again. That's ok, I know they will pass soon and I can feel differen'. I hope this leads to being more comfortable with myself and with communicating directly with others. I am socially anxious and tend to err on the side of saying 'nice' things rather than the truth. This has led to me not getting the support I need. I am working on looking after myself better and accepting my needs as valid. I want to connect with people and become a more effecticve communicator. I want to take wonderful care of myself.
—Guest lulu

I dont know if mine's severe

Whenever someone sits beside me my hands are sweating and my tummy starts reacting and forming gas. Also when I walk in the streets. My eyes always follow the car heading towards me until it passes me. My eyes can't stop. When I'm talking to someone I easily get distracted by for example., feet arms etc. I also have to frown in order not look at my teacher every time I look in front. I can't focus on the TV or board when someone's sitting beside me or staring at me. I can't control my eyes often. Hope this site is true in helping people like me. Thanks God bless
—Guest pat

It's scary?

Social anxiety is terrible I'm 12 and I have it badly, I bite my nails, worry a lot about stupid things I hate performing or showing. I get scared in crowds and I shake quite a lot. I sometimes even don't feel safe at home. Also I have public transport I just hate hate hate it.
—Guest Ka

horrible

I feel like I can't do anything, I feel trapped like it's something holding me back from everything I wanna do most of the time I wanna just go out and have a good time but then it's like I wanna just stay in and not do anything due to me panicking about what could happen or what might happen .. no one takes me seriously ever when I say something about having this disorder they shrug it off I just wanna get help or talk to someone else with the same disorder maybe it would help.
—Guest onlyme

People you will get through this.

My whole life I've had this gift. Yes I try and see it as a gift because life is to short to sit there and cry. Yes it's hard putting myself out there but you know what? This means only true good people will be in your life. If they come up to you and try to start a conversation that means they see something special about you in a room full of people. Don't lose hope. Life goes on, there's going to be ruff patches in life. The important thing is to know who you truly are. If you don't like your self or you hate you self. Don't. You're an amazing person. You're alive. You're healthy. Be happy about the good things. Don't moan about the little things that YOU think maybe true.
—Guest Jameson

Life just get harder

I'm here to tell you, you all can get over it. I suffer from SAD on the daily. When I'm with my friends I feel like the od ball of the group, I feel like I'm not even apart of them. I'm in a room full of people I know yet they feel like im a stranger. I can talk to people pretty easily, more than some though. For some reason I always think one likes, even if they say they do. In relationships I always feel like my gf is going beside my back even when I know she doesn't. It's hard, being a SS person (super sensitive) everything seems so much worse than it really is. I'm tired of it. I even feel like a stranger in my own family. It is hard but the best way to help you get over it is so self examin yourself. See the good you do. See the friends you have. Even if you feel like a stranger with them, they're your friends for a reason and if they weren't you wouldn't be with them now would you? Look at your life on how it is now. Don't think, try not to think about the past. Try not to care.
—Guest No one

want peace

I have this. I am talented and beautiful but for my whole life I hated myself. I pretty much fight with myself every day because Living with this can be terribly isolating. I felt like I have died when I realized it wasn't getting any better, but I came back to life, but it still is not easy. The only thing I really want in life is comfort and love , but I can't even like myself sometimes. I am so jealous of happy people. I get what everyone is going through I want to live and be happy but why is it so hard? One person said love and support helps and they are right! If you don't have anyone there are support groups out there for us. I wish for peace for everyone, cheers
—Guest Me983

Not sure what my problem is

Hey I'm Loz, people always say what goes on in your brain - I was married now divorced and I am 27 the majority of my life up until age 23 with the odd relapse after my divorce had been drug abuse LSD ecstasy weed coke and speed. I have ADHD and a crazy mind and psoriasis which means I shed like a snake my skin literally just falls off on bad days. All these things make me feel like an outcast in society, really introvert personality but I am on the mend getting rid of bad ties and disruptive relationships and most my best mates are older and settled down. I am lost a bit as I don't wanna associate with the idiots and darkness of my past but feel real people never understand me I try to be friends with everyone they probably exploit my good nature - when I was younger I thought I was gay and got forced by a much older man into oral sex then beaten up by a bully who found out.
—Guest LAZAM

it's rough

Hi, I don't want to tell you my life story or anything much about me. Sometimes I feel like I can talk about no one but you guys about this. I have had SAD for a while. Sometimes I have a hard time being myself & feel really self conscious, and before I heard of SAD I thought I was the only one. The best advice to give is STOP THINKING SO MUCH! I KNOW it's very hard but it helps so much to just let go of all of your thoughts. Think positive & be the person you want to be (: & very importantly love yourself... and if you're thinking "how can I love myself if i don't even know myself?" just believe in yourself & start being more outgoing! Life is pretty short if you think about it, do you want to waste it thinking all this self-conscious crap about you... noo, START ACTUALLY LIVING. You are all beautiful, funny, smart, kind, wonderful people & you should believe it no matter if 1 person is saying it or 100.❤
—Guest avery

As long as I can remember...

I've had anxiety since I was 12-13. I'm 22 now. It seems to get better and worse. It fluctuates. I had a bunch of friends through middle school and even after high school but I really only had a few close friends. I went through a bunch of shitty stuff, not that it caused my anxiety or that I want sympathy, but it didn't make it any better and kinda got worse. I got beat up by my crack head step dad at 16 and my mom took his side (he later punched her in the face then she got the point). I was never able to have sex until I was 19. Everybody said I was attractive but I was always too scared. I got invited out and asked out quite a bit but I really could never follow through unless my close friends were with me. I did a lot of drugs and mostly hung out with my friends and few girlfriends. Then most of my friends moved away. I'm lucky I have my gf or I'd go totally crazy. My professors all think I'm a weirdo. They all look at me crazy and I get red and sweat a bit.
—Guest Nate

mental prison

I feel like people are constantly staring at me everyday even when driving. At work I feel like everyone stares and gossips about it me. I just go home and work, when I get home I don't leave unless I have to. I've been dealing with this for four years, I feel some comfort knowing I'm not alone. This has not effected my work performance strangely. But everyday is mental hell and I really am at my breaking point.
—Guest guest

not sure

I'm fourteen and overthink everything way too much. SAD is horrible & prevents people from participating. I feel like life is passing me by. I want to go out and be with others, but I'm scared. If anyone else feels this way I just want to let you know that you shouldn't let this control your life & that you needa stop worrying about what others think about you & start caring more about yourself. I'm going to try be more outgoing and hope you try too. STOP OVERTHINKING AND LIVE FREE. XOXO-KELLY
—Guest oblivion

I feel the same way

Ever since I got on anti-depressants I've gained weight and lost weight been yo yo-ing for a while. I was put on anti-depressants when I was 14 due to a break up with my then bf he was 16 my first love I feel as if I have always had an old soul much more mature thru puberty than anyone I knew through out this time I was always hanging around much older people which I think I ended up aging myself faster instead of enjoying being a teen. I have been in serious abusive relationships since then.. it's not that I choose to be treated like a rag doll just things happen and I pick some winners... 9 years later after dropping out of high school and not being interested in what I graduated a skilled trade for. I am stuck in a rut working a sh*tty job with a boyfriend who can't pay his half of the bills I've gained so much weight that I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning to go to work because I'm so ashamed and embarrassed of people looking at me even writing this I'm getting anxiety.
—Guest kay

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