From the article: Living With Social Anxiety Disorder
For people who don't have social anxiety disorder, it can be hard to understand what it is like to live with daily anxiety about social situations. This is your chance to share the one thing that you really wish you could tell other people about your life. What is it like to live daily with crippling anxiety? What do you wish you could tell everyone but that you know you never will? Share Your Experiences
Feels so unfair
- I avoid everybody lately. I want to change my hair color every other week and somehow hope that will turn me into a new person. I always regret everything new I try and I second guess everything. I live in constant fear that someone is staring at me and thinking bad things about me. I'd rather stare at the ground than make eye contact with unknown people, I can barely say the word Hi without thinking I said it the wrong way. Shopping in a store is more about me wondering what everyone else is thinking, it's not even about shopping to me. Everyday life is just so hard. Doctor visits, ordering food, going to the mall, everything just freaks me out. I can't even stand hearing my own voice some days. I have been this way since I was 10, 16 years later and I'm still battling myself. It's so hard but I'm still trying. You can't give up on yourself no matter how bad it gets, there's always another day to try again. That's how I get through my life. I really wish so much that I will find myself.
- —Guest XoXo
SAD controls your personality
- If I could change something about me it would be my Social Anxiety. I hate having it and I wish I could enjoy being at school as much as some people. I am completely me at home and I am someone who I don't even recognize at school. People who don't have SAD do not understand how hard and stressful school can be. I am supposed to be enjoying my teen high school years but instead I dread them. Walking down hallways, getting up in front of class, reading out loud, speeches, and even just sitting feeling awkward in a chair are all things I dread and go through everyday with SAD. I hate sitting in front of the class at my desk because I feel that people are staring at me. Having SAD is horrible. The worst part is that people don't get to see the real you at school (that kills me). People think they know my shy personality, but truly that is NOT who I am. I have a huge crush and I even dread running into him because I am afraid I will seem awkward even though I want to talk to him.
- —Guest blue
anxious
- I used to think it would get better once I left high school - everyone said it got easier. But it has only gotten worse for me because now I have twice the worries and the biggest of which is where my life is going to lead. When you're younger you think a weight will be lifted off your shoulders and one day you will be free, cause you'll be older and wiser. For me, time has only made me less at peace because hope is slipping away. It seems so empty and pointless to live if you can't even go to the grocery store without experiencing heart palpitations. Small tasks shouldn't feel like an accomplishment. They're just part of life.
- —Guest mp
Feeling SAD
- I'm currently living at home and feel useless and scared for my future. The thought of going on an interview terrifies me. Going to the store is an emotional battle. I think I developed this bc I lived in constant worry as a child that no one was going to be around to help when something bad happened to my family - we had no other family or friends. I became aware of other people and started to dread seeing them. I felt they were judging me and I lacked any confidence to not care what they thought. People in stores are too busy thinking about their own selves, but I still can't help but think everyone is staring at me. Sometimes I even think they can tell I'm socially awkward and know my whole life story. I have a strict father who frowned upon teenage dating etc, so here I am now not able to communicate with people of my own gender much less the opposite. I'm still afraid of his judgments and my mom tries to be diff but deep down she feels the same way.
- —Guest Hey
Living with SAD.
- I've had this feeling for a long time now, at least 5 or so years. I always feel like I'm being watched, even when I'm in my own room with the door closed and blinds shut. Gaming is practically my life because I don't have to react with people directly and it temporarily makes me forget about my paranoia. I used to be part of a small group of friends (I was pretty much just the guy who stood outside the circle trying to blend in, throwing in a few words every now and then just to feel like part of the conversation.) I'm 19 and for about a year now I have been out of school. I didn't graduate due to the fact that I never actually went because it was just too much for me to handle. Crowded halls, everyone talking, I always felt like they were talking about me wether it be the way I walked or just how I looked or what I wore. In the past year I've only left my house 3 times at most. I can go on forever but I'm hitting my character limit. I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only one...
- —Guest J
Scared and I worry a lot
- I'm always scared I'll do something stupid and embarrasing. I cannot talk when in social situations, I sit there feeling like a vacuum unable to say anything. I was asked by an in-law, "why is it that you don't have anything to say like the other in-laws". Years ago I would not have been able to respond at all, but I was able to say that "I contribute, I ask questions". I feel that a great deal of my life has been spent in "quiet" (I'm 60+). I don't know how my children turned out as well as they did!! Recently, I finally went to a doctor for help and I'm trying meditation and trying to lose weight. I am hopeful and trying to think more positive thoughts!!
- —beajojo
Afraid
- I'm 17 and SAD caused me to drop out of school in the beginning of the 8th grade ever since then I've been home literally for 3 years now I've probably only been out of the house maybe 30 times throughout those 3 years. I'm depressed, lonely and I can't go outside cause I feel like everyone is judging me and they probably are too. I'm so white I look albino, I'm fat, I tried losing weight but I just can't, I'm even too afraid to go to the doctor to get my inhaler for my asthma. I've been without that now for almost a year.
- —Guest ImAlreadyDead
wow
- I have SAD. I am medicated for it, but the propranolol I'm prescribed only stops physical symptoms. When I read this, I almost cried because I realized that I'm not the only one. Today my closest friends admitted that they think I might be gay, and a lot of people think I am too. I tried so many times to be social but I fog up, and it kills me when people say that I just gotta try harder, but I do. I just feel like something snapped and I'm going into a depression.
- —Guest notalone
the curse
- It gets worse as I get older. I'm 20 and I'm at the point where I'm avoiding family. My childhood was a chain of embarrassing and humiliating events. My dad has never told me to grow up until now. I've been cleaning dishes at a restaurant for almost a year now cause I simply can't interact with anyone I so badly want a new job but...it doesn't take much for me to blush. Depressing is it? To plan going to the grocery store weeks in advanced, I order a lot of pizza. I live alone and I have a severe case of sciatica, I'm on back pain pills to help me even walk, which means to me I have many things on my to do list for making good changes in my life. No one would understand me because most people I know tell me I'm handsome or good looking and I've always had a natural talent for music etc.. they just think I'm a bit shy. I live in emotionally draining agony.
- —Guest andrew
Lost my social and educational life
- I think I've just discover that I'm suffering from SAD. I've always had this anxious feeling whenever I'm about to go to school or a party or even just to the grocery store. A part of my mind is never fully into whatever task I am doing because I'm always worrying about the way I look, the way I'm walking, if my makeup is just right. At the start of last year I decided to go on my own diet plan and I successfully lost a massive 12kgs in a little less than 3 months. People were amazed because I was never fat to begin with, just a bit chubby, then all of a sudden I rock up out of no where with this killer body. But of course because I lost so much weight in a little amount of time, the weight was coming back twice as fast as I lost it. When I first started to notice I was putting weight back on I freaked out. I didn't go to school for 3 months, I left the country without telling anyone except my family. Now my best friend hates me I have no more friends I'm ruining my life.
- —Guest Anon
SAD Is Ruining My Life
- I'm 16, I've had SAD since I was 14 and I dropped out of school because of it. The thought of me going back to school really scares me and I sometimes cry about it. I really want to go back but I just can't. Whenever I'm around people I get so much anxiety I feel like I can't breathe and I get dizzy and it feels like I'm about to pass out. I used to have so many friends and I was always out but now I don't even step foot outside. I never leave my house and I lost all my friends because I never see them. I can't do anything that involves being around other people without having a panic attack. I'm wasting my life.
- —Guest Cal
It can get better
- I'm 20 and currently at university. Well I have read a lot of these comments and I feel sorry for a lot of people out there. You definitely have it worse then me some of you. I suffer sometimes and it only seems to be when I go out in a public drinking situation for example to the local town with all my mates. It always revolves around being sick and fear that I will be sick and embarrass myself. I often gag involuntarily if I cannot talk myself out of it. I used to always be up for a good/messy night out but it all changed suddenly. I know this isn't as bad as some people out there but I am slowly getting better through gradual exposure to the problem. For example rather then saying no I wont go out, go out for one drink then leave. You must have self belief in your head, even when avoidance seems the best tactic, you are just making it worse for yourself. Good luck to all with it. I recommend talking to someone close if you have that option. Believe in yourselves
- —Guest Guest123
SAD
- I'm 15 and I'm scared sh*tless of people this started quite recently around the beginning of high school it got so bad I left school and am now home schooled, for the past few years a lot of my friends have screwed me over so I just recently stopped REALLY hanging out with friends because I know they will screw me over eventually, so I turned to gaming and I love it, because I don't have to be out in public, so I locked myself in my room and played video games all day and half the nights. Today I left the house after having not done so in the past few weeks, I'm so scared at the shopping mall that when I went to sit down on the public couches, 3 thirteen year old kids sat down on the chair in front of me so I covered my face with my hand and waited for them to leave. They left 1 and a half hours later. I left an hour and thirty one minutes later. Fml.
- —Guest Andrew
hate my life!
- Everyday I'm worried and hate going to school! I was really close to the girls in my year a year or two ago and now I'm terrified of them because I feel they're judging me or laughing at me. Whenever I see a group laughing or whispering I immediately think it's about me and I feel like crying. I just don't know what to do ? :/
- —Guest Emily
my life sucks
- Gym class is the worst for me because when a ball comes to me, for example and I'm supposed to hit it I feel like everybody's watching me and I just freeze up. People in gym class think I don't even try and they don't want me on their team. I also mope around a lot and move slow because I'm so depressed and I don't feel like anybody likes me. I hardly ever go out of the house because I'm scared people are judging me. My family thinks its because I'm lazy so they constantly tell me that but I'm too scared to tell them why. The only people who I can talk to normally with is my family and my parents' friends. I need some serious help but I'm too scared to talk to anyone about it.
- —Guest blahblahblah
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