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Readers Respond: What's the Worst Thing Someone Could Say to You?

Responses: 48

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Updated December 22, 2009

People who have SAD are sometimes the target of unwelcome comments. "Why are you so quiet?" and "Why not have a drink to loosen up?" are just some of the more unhelpful things that people say. What is the worst thing that someone could say to you? Share Your Experiences

Buck up pal! Get over yourself!

I have an appointment to go to in an other city, last minute ( next day in fact), I now have to find a sitter and I have to get there to and from by cab, so, being on mat leave , I'm not rolling on gold and am stressing about how to pull it off.. I call my father, hoping he'd have advise ,( or the urge to watch his grand kids or give me a ride). So he says to me: " you know, this is ridiculous!! You've been doing this since you were a kid! Just take the damn bus there!!" So I reply, " well I would if I could even get ON the bus, dad!" So he says; " well that's enough! Buck up pal, get over yourself and just do it!" Wow, thanks for the insight! Would have never thought of that myself! I'll just go do that! Smh
—kated1

born with a personality disorder.

Cannot remember a time when talking didn't physically hurt or that I wasn't scared of people..even my own family.. I've always put on a facade as I don't know who I would be if I didn't.
—Guest magzscarlet

go order your own food

Ordering food at a restaurant is a huge challenge for someone with social anxiety. When I want McDonalds or want to go to a restaurant my dad tells me to order my food but I always get so nervous and can't bring myself to say anything to the waitress and check out person. I hate it when people tell me to order my own food.
—Guest sophie

'Ice-Breakers'

I'm sure ice breakers work great for lots of people- extroverted people. Apparently, some idiot got the GENIUS idea to break ice with people who have SA (even shy people) by making a joke. A joke about their SA/Shyness. If I had a dollar for every time someone started a conversation with; "I didn't know you could talk!" "Haha I thought you were a mute- you never talk!" "Can--You---Talk--?" "I don't bite!" Etc etc.
—Guest Val

That doesn't make any sense

People tell me that it's ridiculous to be afraid of doing things like calling my friends or ordering food and it makes me feel like they're making fun of me for being so nervous. Family members have told me that it doesn't make sense to be nervous ordering food because it's someone else's job to take your order, and things like that, but that only makes me feel bad about being nervous, and that makes me even more nervous
—Guest T

I don't care

I was talking to my friend earlier about SAD. She said I didn't have it and to just get over it, so I asked her if she even knew what it is. She said something like this, "It means you have trouble socializing. You socialize with me just fine, so you don't have it." I told her, "No, that's not exactly what it is. Guess again." She declined, so I playfully called her a lazy butt. She said, "I'm not lazy I just don't care about you. Get over it." That made my stomach twist into a knots and I don't think I can ever talk to her again. Not out of snobbiness or selfishness, but because of the anxiety.
—Guest Guest

Speak up!

I'm twelve years old, and I was told I have social anxiety by a medical expert. I have always been rather shy, but lately it's gotten worse. I hardly speak at all and I've stopped eating in public if I don't have close friends nearby. My teachers are always saying, "You're my quietest student!" Or "You need to speak up." I don't know how to speak with strangers and I get so stressed out about social events! It sucks! I can't even talk to my bestest friends without getting nervous.
—Guest guest

Annoyance

I actually felt like I was starting to fit in to this new school I am going to when I started to talk to this girl. She never said anything just laughed when I did something funny. (so I thought) When the last day of school I found out she thought I was annoying. This was in 5th Grade am on my way to be a freshmen. 2 weeks till schools out. Then am a freshmen after summer.
—Guest unknown

Can't you work on that?

When I was a kid, I used to hate going to family functions, just because I didn't have any relatives my age and I didn't feel comfortable around any of them. I would cry and ask my parents to let me stay home, and when I told my mom how I felt, she understood and tried to talk to my dad about it, and he just said, "Can't you work on that with her?" It was horrible to hear, especially since SAD isn't something you can change overnight and with ease.
—Guest Caelo

No one cares.

I'm in high school, so a lot of times, people will jokingly say "No one cares" while someones in the middle of talking. It's even worse with people I don't know very well, because after opening up to them more than I usually do, it's horrible to feel like you're boring the person and that they are only listening to be polite.
—Guest Brianna

Get over it

If i could get over my (SAD) I would have a long time ago. Is not that simple.
—Guest Thomas

"she's just dumb" or "you're boring"

Hearing these words from someone you don't like, hurts, but to hear them from people you once thought loved you, is beyond painful. ...what really annoys or upsets me is that, people immediately assume that if you're quiet, or do not contribute much - conversation wise - that you're less intelligent than they. It is definitely NOT the case, and a very unfair and egotistical judgement to make about anyone, especially one who suffers social phobia.
—Guest anonymous

Lifeless

Everyday I hear that one simple word that rings inside my head ' lifeless' I shouldn't be offended by it yes I know but try suffering from SA and to top it off try being in a society full of teenagers. I can't express myself anymore, I started shutting down on everyone maybe it's because I had trust issues and I have a fear of making new friendships cause I already know what's going to happen in the end. Accept me for who I am and I'll show you me.
—Guest Clark

How do you think that makes me feel?

I shared with my husband that I was feeling stressed about going out for St Patrick's day (tommorow), hoping for some comfort or support. "Why?!?" he responded sharply. So I explained that his brother and sister-in-law made me feel uncomfortable, that I don't like crowded places (like an Irish pub, in a college town, on St Patricks day)and that I was worried about drunk drivers. His response? "Why are you telling me this now? I thought you were as excited about this as I was! Great, now I'm not even excited to go anymore!" He makes me feel so guilty for having anxiety sometimes.
—Guest asj

You need to get out more.

My SA was at its worst when I was a teenager. I was borderline mute, never answered phones or the door, and never left my room. In thinking I was lazy or what have you. My sister told me to get out more and essentially forced me outside. This led to more than a few panic attacks and I feel only regressed any kind of progress trying to be made.
—Guest B

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