From the article: The Worst Thing to Say to Someone With Social Anxiety
People who have SAD are sometimes the target of unwelcome comments. "Why are you so quiet?" and "Why not have a drink to loosen up?" are just some of the more unhelpful things that people say. What is the worst thing that someone could say to you? Share Your Experiences
"Your just so awkward"
- Growing up "Social Anxiety" was considered a bad excuse for being too stupid to say things right, though I didn't even think about it then. I just thought I was shy, or from a different planet. I'm 21 now, looking back at a life in the shadows makes me wonder how this disorder took all the opportunities away. I'm hopeful and always have been. I look at the bright side, but it can only get you so far when you can't get a straight sentence out to a stranger. People tell me I'm pretty but I haven't had a boyfriend in years, even if I put the effort in. And why? "Because I'm so awkward." is what I hear the most. Who wants to date a girl who's face twitches uncontrollably sometimes when she speaks to new people, stumbles over her words, and her feet too? Well I'm gonna look for help, but I hope that if anyone reading this learned anything from what I said, it's that you need to take a stand for yourself, and don't let anything stop you from seeking help, yourself included.
- —Guest liftyoureyesfromthesidewalk
- "You're such a disappointment I can't even explain how disappointed I am in you". Coming from the only person you feel comfortable being around hearing that is the worst thing. Worst thing was it was my mum, the only person I couldn't handle hearing that from.
- —Guest Isabella
- I heard a classmate whispering to someone "she's so quiet you forget shes here!" Thanks a lot!
- —Guest Js
That's not a real thing.
- I'm 14, and a while back I was trying to talk to my mother about my SA in a drive-through (probably not the best place now that I think about it). But she just kept telling me "You're just shy." and "That's not a real thing." Then she rolled down her window and tried to force me to order our stuff. I was so scared, and now I feel like I can't talk to her about anything like that anymore.
- —Guest Chelsea
- I have panic. I have panic attacks so bad I don't leave the house. I have to re-build going out walking to the end of the road, try and go a bit further every time, panic attacks are so bad I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy, I don't go to school because I can't. I know how to control them, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, keep telling yourself you're going to be ok, and it will go. Concentrate! You never think that they are going to get better but nothing stays the same! Was this answer helpful?
- —Guest lZxxBeLdVzJoTwlxwm
The way of making fun in all...
- I am suffering from SA, since age 15. I was like a shy guy from my childhood, but not too much. The shyness didn't affect my face to face conversations till 10th grade. I usually talk more at that times, to my teachers, parents, friends...I was not conscious about my eye contact. But everything changed in one year. I started to realize face to face conversations are making me uncomfortable. I failed to control my expressions. I look weird. Even listening to my teachers makes me nervous. And I could realize that my staring is making them uncomfortable. I thought it would be alright soon after my teenage years. But SA has captured me tightly. Anyone could make me nervous with a long bold stare. If someone asks me,''Why you stare too weird".. That means I am fallen! But there is a choice for me. If this was asked by someone who is not as talkative as me, I could resist that heartbroken feeling by returning some dialogues. Guys, I lost my good friends recently. All that due to this crap.
- —Guest SA diffender
She's just so boring.
- This comment was made regarding me. I then made the decision to only ask questions about others and never share anything personal. High school was very lonely.
- —Guest Guest
you've got to be more positive
- Don't the people who say this to me know that to me reality isn't all that positive? I have never been a silver lining person, I see the clouds for what they are, bringers of rain. And no, my inability to listen to inane conversations about kids, pets, tv, or any of the other fluff is not being negative, it is being in touch with reality. It just makes me more anxious (there it is) to know that people do not care as much about the world we live in as I do.
- —Guest sonja
SAD means "you are scared of people,lol"
- Talk about barrier to treatment. Multiple people over the span of 10 years recognized my facial blushing (I neither feared blushing, noticed how much it happened, nor understood why it happened) and shyness as indicative of Social Phobia. I would ask what Social Phobia was and they would respond “you are scared of people, lol”. I would dismiss their suggestion as I did not consider myself to be scared of people, rather just shy, so I would conclude that I did not have SAD, and never looked into it. Even my friends would dismiss such a suggestion. Unfortunately, at the age of twenty five I now understand I have had SAD since around twelve years of age. Why was SAD being described in such a way, do people not realise it creates a barrier to treatment? I believe most of these people where informed about SAD in a school environment, where defining SAD as “scared of people” could have been used for effect. How funny that awareness through exaggeration would create another barrier to treatment. The only documentary on YouTube about SAD is called “Social Anxiety Documentary: Afraid of People”. The “Afraid of People” part is obviously an inappropriate description. “More than just shyness” or “painfully shy” is probably more appropriate, as it hints at the connection between SAD and shyness. I think only SAD sufferers with low self-esteem would consider themselves “scared of people”. Scared is a strong term for describing what SAD sufferers experience in social situations.
sad is not a real disorder.
- "SAD isnt a real disorder." Who said that? Wait, people are that ignorant? And i thought "why are you so quiet" was an awful thing to say. Excuse me while i sharpen my pitchfork.
- —Guest E
I Understand, But
- This is by far the worst, in my opinion. When you're trying to explain why you just CAN'T and they end up telling you, "I understand, but I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of nothing." It's just awful and makes you feel even worse, because you trusted them enough to tell them your reasons in hopes they could help and that's all the 'advice' they could manage.
- —Guest Elizabeth
Why are you so dumb??
- I feel shy to talk with girls. I become so dumb and I feel very nervous. I even get nervous and sometimes tremble when I come across my female classmates while walking......please help me. I want to overcome my problem.
Could you start again please?
- One of the worst things with SAD is when you pluck up the courage to read aloud or start a speech and your teacher/boss/audience says 'could you start again please?' or 'I can't hear you!' It makes you feel a million times worst I HATE IT!
- —Guest Julia
Please Don't Ask...
- I get very nervous in social situations and functions. I HATE when people ask me "why are you shaking" or "why are you so nervous" or "Wow you have some sweaty palms".
- —Guest Lynn
You will address John and Mary as...
- When I was about 12 and extremely shy, my parents took me to meet my brothers future in laws. Just as we arrived my father instructed me "Tim, you will address John and Mary as Uncle John and Auntie Mary". I felt so self-concious I never said a word.
- —Guest Tim
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