Q: Part of your therapy involved doing volunteer work. How was this incorporated into your therapy? Were you anxious in the beginning?
A: Again, I was terrified. Dr. Katzman and I talked about what I like to do and the people I like being with, which are seniors. I had to go for an orientation and an interview and was lucky to be accepted. My first job was to help decorate for a party they were having, and I had to tie up balloons outside to posts and so on. My hands were shaking so much I almost lost all of them, but I continued because I was embarrassed to let on that I could not do it. Another thing Dr. Katzman and I did was to give me a time limit for facing some of my fears. For this fear I gave myself 1 hour.
My job after this was friendly visiting. I had to report to the nurses, which was so scary, and even talking with the seniors brought my social phobia back, but I kept on doing it and finally it came to the point that I loved what I was doing and there was very little anxiety. I was able to talk to the nurses and not feel anxious after a while.
Q: Do you find that social anxiety sometimes creeps back in to your life? If so, how do you manage it?
A: It does creep back, and sometimes I have to do something that I have not done before, like be on T.V. It can come back when the depression appears again for so many reasons -- money, family, lack of sleep and so on. When this used to happen, I was suicidal, but I am happy to say that I have not felt suicidal for over a year.
What I have to remember is that, yes, I am going to have "bad" days, but, yes, I will get better. Maybe today is not great, but I know tomorrow will at least be a bit better. Going for a walk is wonderful. Having a cup of tea with my best friend helps. Writing in my journal is also good.
Q: You are quoted as saying, "I am outgoing, happy and, believe it or not, love people." It may be hard for people who are struggling with social anxiety to believe this is ever possible. What would you say to encourage others that they can be as successful in overcoming anxiety as you have been?
A: If I had read that statement years ago I would have thought, This person has no idea how I am feeling, no idea of my symptoms and that I want to die. It is a true statement, and it is really difficult for others to believe that I was such a severe social phobic that everyone and everything caused me so much fear.
I run a social phobia support group, and a lot of the people in the group do not believe how severe I was. The way that I got well was first having an amazing doctor who I trusted. Second, being on medication (not everyone has to be on meds) and doing CBT, [which] is amazing and it is now part of my thinking process, although I sometimes slip.
Realize that you are not weak and this is not your fault. Don't put yourself down, and always congratulate yourself on facing a fear. Also, don't compare yourself [with] other people. Let's say you are terrified of using a phone. You know other people use them all the time -- so why can't you. Remember, though, that using a phone may be your biggest fear, so, of course, it is going to cause you so much anxiety, pain and panic. If you were afraid of a bear this would seem more logical, but the phone is your bear -- so don't think that you are weak.
Try not to think, "Well, if I had gotten help years ago I could have done this, been this and so on." For whatever reason you are getting help now and getting well now, now you can start doing all the things you wanted to do and in a more healthy way.
And as I end all my e-mails to the social phobia support group, "Believe in yourself."
