10 Unique Ways to Give Compliments

Giving compliments isn't always easy, particularly if you aren't sure what to say or are socially anxious. Compliments can have important benefits for performance and well-being. However, compliments can sometimes make people make people feel uncomfortable if they aren't given the right way.

You don't want your compliments to sound like empty platitudes; you want to make sure they are meaningful and individualized to the person. One way to do this is to find ways to give unique compliments that convey a lot of meaning.

Choose Unique Words

People tend to overuse the same bland words when giving compliments. Allow your message to stand out by choosing unique words that you don't hear every day.

Examples might include that your husband looks "dapper" or your girlfriend is a "phenomenal" athlete.

Be Authentic

Whenever you are giving a compliment, make sure it's genuine. People can often tell if a compliment feels forced or inauthentic. The key to making it unique and honest is to focus on the things you really appreciate about the other person.

This is where practicing gratitude can come in handy. Think about the things you appreciate the most. How have they helped you? What characteristics stand out? What makes them unique?

Once you know what you want to compliment, deliver it when you feel most aware or appreciative of these special qualities. Telling your partner that you love their joyfulness when you are enjoying a happy moment together, for example, can be a deeply meaningful way to share a compliment.

Customize Your Compliments

Tailor the compliment to the individual, using inside jokes that only the two of you will understand. For example, once you've learned those sign language maneuvers, use them to give compliments to family members that only they will understand.

Focus on Qualities Other Than Appearance

While it's tempting to give compliments that focus on physical appearance, it's important to remember that how people look isn't a measure of their abilities or value as a person. Instead of complimenting someone on things they don't have much control over, try focusing your compliments on other aspects of who they are.

For example, you might try complimenting someone on their:

• Kindness
• Confidence
• Great sense of humor
• Ability to listen
• Thoughtfulness
• Resilience
• Enthusiasm
• Curiosity
• Supportiveness

Give a Written Compliment

Not everyone feels comfortable sharing compliments in person—especially those who have social anxiety. Don't feel that you can't share your compliments if you are too nervous. Instead, take the time to send a handwritten note (in a timely manner) to the person you wish to compliment.

Write a note to your aunt telling her how much you enjoyed your last visit. Email a coworker praising a job well done at the office. Send a card thanking a person who gave you a gift.

Compliment Using Your Eyes

A long stare is a hidden form of compliment. It works best when you are out on a date. In essence, you communicate that you can't take your eyes off the other person.

Be sure only to use the stare type of compliment when appropriate, such as when you are with someone who you know is also attracted to you. Flirtation is fine when it is acceptable, which includes ensuring it is wanted and occurs in the right context.

Compliment by Text

Can you compliment by text? Yes of course. Just keep them fairly short, and avoid the use of text speak. Be aware that not everyone checks their phone regularly, so don't feel bad if you don't get a reply right away.

Try Ready-Made Compliments

Are you experiencing a drought of compliments in your household? Make it easier on everyone by having ready-made compliments for people to grab and share.

Create a printable tear-off sheet with compliments that you can share. Or, create a compliment jar, with ideas such as "You are amazing," "You are inspiring," or "You are wonderful." Customize them for your family, and you will have fun sharing the compliments you devised together.

Use Technology for Compliments

There are even apps for giving compliments! You can try sharing compliments on social media sites. If you post a compliment on the wall of a Facebook friend, all of their friends will see it, giving it that much more weight.

Ask Someone for Help as a Compliment

One of the easiest and most impactful ways to offer a compliment is to ask someone to help you do something. In essence, you are telling the person that you value their skills and abilities, without having to directly tell them.

Keep in Mind

If you live with social anxiety disorder, you may find it hard to offer compliments. Start small by giving a simple compliment to someone whom you know well. Work your way up from there toward more challenging types of compliments. Over time, you will find that the act of giving compliments grows easier and more natural.