From the article: When a Family Member Has Social Anxiety Disorder
When a friend or family member suffers from social anxiety disorder (SAD), there is often an impact on your life as well. Knowing how to manage your own needs while still being sensitive to the needs of the person with SAD is a delicate balancing act. How has having a friend or family with SAD affected your life? Share Your Experiences
SAD
- It has taken 10 years for my son to accept he has SAD. After years of self medicating and police involvement he is now receiving treatment. I hope now he can enjoy a better future and be in control of his anxiety.
- —Guest Helen
Human Nature Should be to Help
- I have a brother that has been more or less completely housebound for, approximately, the last 10 years. As I used to be the same for about 7 years, I feel the need to say that a phobia is irrational, and simply telling someone that there is nothing to be afraid of is unlikely to be enough. It can be so frustrating to try to help someone that would almost certainly benefit from doing something that they refuse to do. The truth is, no one is keen to face their fears. I feel so sorry for my brother, but I am still much like him in a way-I am definitely lacking in confidence still, only not as bad as him. Although I believe that showing him that I can do things despite my background and all its similarities with his, I also think that what may be required for someone so extremely socially phobic to get out of his pit of total helplessness is some firm enthusiasm, incentive, pressure or even coercion. That said, I am hardly someone that finds assertiveness easy. I will fight this ILLNESS.
- —Guest Patrick
Support
- A large part of my childhood was ensuring that my brother with SAD didn't have to interact with people. It meant that I was always on the edge, for example, when people came over because I was conscious of his anxiety and would warn him so he could hide, etc. I realise now that it contributed to my own SAD. At some point when we were adults I had to stop enabling the situation and so we have lost contact. That was not without finally speaking to him about it at age 43, saying that I would help him get therapy. But he refused.
- —Guest Nicole
Not personal
- The key is to not take it personally. It's not about you. Allow them their space. You may not be able to fully understand the how's or why's but simply granting them the consideration of respecting their feelings, or sometimes lack thereof, is a great support. And again, do not take their behavior personally.
- —Guest Dede
Trying to help.
- I love him and I want to share everything with him. Its hard not to feel like there is something wrong with me but I'm learning about SAD and trying to find ways to help him deal with and recover from the disorder.
- —Guest Peter
SAD
- i have a set of twins who have had symptoms of SAD since high school age. I encouraged one into therapy and she takes medications which have been very helpful for her. Her sister has an appointment to see someone this week. Her SAD did not become as obvious to us until she entered college. Both these girls are very responsible, behaved girls and seem more mature than others their age which has made it even more difficult for them to find friends they feel that share their goals and lifestyle. Of course, realizing that they are such great young people, I wish that they would realize those great qualities even with SAD. I hope that with continued work, they will be able to become more comfortable with others, find some friends they enjoy . I know that eventually they will be a be able to really enjoy life more.
- —Guest Janice
