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Readers Respond: What is it like to live with SAD?

Responses: 288

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Updated June 11, 2009

I get you

I just wanted to say hello to my fellow anxiety family. I love you all. I know it's nice to hear that sometimes. I was just sitting here wishing I was just an actor in a play or something and that soon someone would say "cut!" At which point I would laugh and walk off the set so I could take a break from being nutty for just a bit. So, if you were feeling crazy and unloved today just remember that someone crazier than you loves you.
—Guest justtami

Nervous

Extremely nervous, can barely stand myself.I'm so nervous I feel like I'm standing in front of a judge half the time.Not to mention, the fact that a chance of being in an embarrassing situation scares me...
—Guest Alex

is it just hormones or SAD?

i always feel as though whatver i say or do jusg doesnt matter.I always think that my friends and family secretly hate me and are just putting up with me in some sort of sympathetic way.this is constantly haunting me and i cant even function properly anymore. my dad told me its just teenage hormones but i have this fear that its something much more severe like SAD
—Guest randomer

depressed but now one can see it

you can't control it nearly every day i cry because i feel so alone but i have alot of people around me my family and friends but having them makes me feel more lonelier that i would be with just me and parents i can't even say to my family that i'm upset they start asking different questions questions i don't now answers to i'm always sad looking at the whole lot of them thinking they are judging me even though i'm standing right in front of me ever i have so much i want to tell people but when it comes to telling them i can't my mouth is stuck i can't even chose between clothes because i think i am going to say something wrong my two best friends are the only people i completely trust i,ve even told them things i tried so hard to keep from my family i don't know why but they are the only people i trust i don't even trust my family which makes me so sad i've been bullied all my life in school but i just kept all my feeling in and now it has made me so depressed what is wrong with me
—Guest mee

Feel like people are always looking

Everytime I go outside I feel very nervous and uncomfortable. I keep thinking that people in cars are looking my way and people in the stores are staring at me, judging me, thinking that I'm ugly. I know I'm not ugly but I keep thinking others do and I can never shake this feeling. Or that they think I'm a bitch or stuck-up if I dress nice. I'm constantly feeling not good enough and if I see someone that's very beautiful I immediately feel lower than them and an ugly duckling compared to them. If i'm with my husband I get embarrased right away if a pretty girl walks by and think that he would rather be with them and that he probably thinks they are so much better than me and that he wishes he wasn't with me and was with them instead. I was so shy in school I had no friends. People thought I was weird because I never talked or took part in anything. I chose to be alone, afraid to meet people. I feel very void and distant from the real world.
—Guest Lisa

Feel like people are always looking

Everytime I go outside I feel very nervous and uncomfortable. I keep thinking that people in cars are looking my way and people in the stores are staring at me, judging me, thinking that I'm ugly. I know I'm not ugly but I keep thinking others do and I can never shake this feeling. Or that they think I'm a bitch or stuck-up if I dress nice. I'm constantly feeling not good enough and if I see someone that's very beautiful I immediately feel lower than them and an ugly duckling compared to them. If i'm with my husband I get embarrased right away if a pretty girl walks by and think that he would rather be with them and that he probably thinks they are so much better than me and that he wishes he wasn't with me and was with them instead. I was so shy in school I had no friends. People thought I was weird because I never talked or took part in anything. I chose to be alone, afraid to meet people. I feel very void and distant from the real world.
—Guest Lisa

SAD

I think I have SAD. I grew up poor. My dad left my mother raised me and my siblings on her own. My brothers were very protective of me. I grew up isolated never went out, never really had friends, never joined activities, my clothes in high school were not like the other kids I made most of my clothes. everyone would stare at me people talked about me. People didnt like me I never fit in, I tried very hard. I feel like everyone is watching me, talking about me. I shake so much now that im twenty it still haunts me. Even if I go to the gas station my hands are shaking if I give or take money. I walk very fast and look down. Im afraid of people. Im afraid of going to college.
—Guest miah

i abhor myself

i think i have it but i don;t know, i'm 16, my course is political science which is a course my motjer wants coz i don't know what to take. i am extremely shy to the extent that i always avoid to recite during high school and always don't want to report in class, i hate it. i am even willing to get a zero in speech in English than to do it. i always avoided reporting and reciting like a plague but no most of the courses i took have recitation the highest and even required reporting. i think i am going to fail these 3 major courses just because i can't recite and report. i hate myself. i hate humans. i don't even want to exist. i wish i had never been born. i wish i never existed. i hate human existence. i wish i could change and be reborn. i am closeted gay and i feel like i am going to explode. i wish i would disappear without any trace. how can i cure my shyness. i am traumatized by my past experiences that is why i am extremely shy and lost faith in humanity.
—Guest 13

Hard to get over social anxiety

For me, social anxiety was a paranoia that told me that everyone was in the "know" and automatically pushed me out of their social situations the second they saw what I was. Like there was some stupid, giant conspiracy about me only. I looked down on other people and was often angry of how they could treat me, another human, like a piece of trash. However, I was still terrified of other people because of this. I only dealt with people because I thought they would see avoidance as "weakness" and would gang up on me. Jeez, I was crazy. But, I ended up suffering so much because of it. I had stomach pain every day and would often have nausea migraines. When I was in school, I sometimes had enough of feeling sick and internally screaming to stay in bed and would convince my angry dad to let me stay home sick. At least I wasn't exactly lying about being sick. He thought I was lazy. I'm glad I'm getting over anxiety now. It was a long and painful journey. One I'm ready to leave behind.
—Guest Guest

Social anxiety

I find it gets extremely bad with a shift in hormones around 'that time'. I used to be a lot worse when I was 17 after going through a traumatic incident walking home one day. I get anxiety attacks on the bus especially. I feel claustrophobic with so many people being there in the one crowded space. My main issue is becoming clumsy when people are around if I'm uncomfortable. I act like an airhead when I'm nervous, and I can't help it. It hurts when people assume my level of intelligence is inferior to theirs when I'm in this state of mind. If I'm not feeling simply nervous, then I shut down entirely.It only recently started to decline since I got my dog. I live in a small town and can bring him on the bus with a muzzle. Half the time he calms me by distracting people's attention towards him. I find when I meet new people, if I don't entirely click with them naturally, I feel awful. I simply don't want to be there, and feel conversations are either forced, or I'm simply afraid.
—Guest Shannon

blushing

I'm a girl and I find it really hard to talk to girls I don't know very well. I feel like they're judging me for my outfit or just for just being generally bad a small talk. Also if loads of people are looking at me my chest and arms go red and I went I notice it it just gets worse. When I tell my friends or family that I think I have SAD they just laugh. I'm thinking of going to see a doctor because I can't live the rest of my life being scared to answer the phone.
—Guest red

awwwkward

I no i have sad, but i dont have trouble walking in front of people or when i do something and everybody looks i dont get all embarrased . But i have a hard time talking to people i dont ever know what , then when i do talk ive thought about whst im gonna say for so long it doesnt even matter anymore. I feel weird when i look someone in the eye when they are talking to me like im a creeper or something. I feel like everyone thinks im weird and talk about me and it makes me realy un comftorable at work and when i do talk i stumble over my words . I get scared of going outside thinking someone is out there and i would have to talk to them i dint ever know what to say and they think im weird cause i dont talk . HELP
—Guest a.l

No personality

I'm 14 years old and I think that I have had SAD since year 8. I basically became very uncomfortable with the way I acted and treated others. I feel as if I was a rude, loud person with a weird personality. Gradually, I started moving from my friends to skip lunch and read to avoid conversation. I am considered a very smart person by others, however when it comes to speaking I am terrible. My answer is almost always I don't know, out of pressure and panic. I have a very slow memory being put on the spot like this and tend to withdraw myself from conversations - making it very awkward between me and other people. I stopped doing P.E. because I am terrible at sports and coping with competitiveness. I started missing days because I was too nervous to go to school and now, even after effort from others to make school comfortable for me - I still feel exteremly anxious. I procrastinate, don't revise and stay up late. I can't get close to people because I don't feel like Ihave a personality
—Guest Anonymous

I am an ugly woman

I never used to have social anxiety until people started to bug me about how ugly I am. It doesn't happen as often as it used to, but people used to harass me wherever I went about my face. I am very nice to people. I dress well. I keep fit but I am hideously ugly in the face. So people don't want anything to do with me. Last week a girl tried to take a picture of me for being ugly and upload it on Facebook but my friend stopped her. Today they refused to make my food because of my face. They said so. Things like that make me not want to go out in public. I am so paranoid about being judged for my face. I only go out when I go to work, hike or grocery shop. Other then that I stay inside. People Hate me just for my face. I didn't choose my face. Why do people have to hate me for my face. I want to kill myself for my face.
—Guest Ashley

drowning

I got social anxiety when I started high school. I've missed a lot of school because of anxiety attacks in the morning. I get sweaty and red and start to feel like I'm drowning. I can't even talk to people without feeling anxiety. I'm always running off to the bathroom to avoid socializing. Because of this,I've avoided making friends and spend almost all my time alone.
—Guest anonymous

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